SJmun
Eggministrator 
Posts: 1,445
|
Post by SJmun on Feb 2, 2015 16:31:18 GMT -8
Do note that I have beat this game two times already, once regular and second time savescumming to get the true ending, so for the most part I know what I'm doing.  First up, inputting name... yep, it's Seth. Now let's begin!
|
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 2, 2015 20:00:57 GMT -8
 where the fuck am I? where the fuck is my shit? And what the fuck am I wearing? ...why do I have a shield with my name on it?  holy shit what the fuck is that?! where the fuck is my scythe?! get the fuck away from me you crazy ball and chain!  ....phew, I'm clear the fuck out of that place. I need to take a walk.  I don't know what the fuck these spikey-ass things are, but I'm not letting them get in the way. taste this shield! |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 2, 2015 20:12:05 GMT -8
 holy shit, is that my scythe?  who the fuck is this bird? why is he insisting this is a sword? it's clearly a scythe. whatever.  what do you mean I can't leave the island?!  who the fuck is the wind fish? what are you getting out of this? if I wake up this shitty wind fish will you let me off this fucking island? ...finally, that bitch is gone. now to get my scythe.  IT'S NOT A FUCKING SWORD!  time to fuck shit up and wake up a wind fish. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 2, 2015 20:44:41 GMT -8
this bird wants me to go to the mysterious woods. whatever you say, ornis.  ..and there he is again.  he's talking about the fucking wind fish again. does the wind fish owe him money or some shit? apparently he wants me to find some key here.
so, apparently these mysterious woods are actually the fucking amazon rainforest. with angry pigmen. with weapons. great.  ...what the fuck happened here? did somebody get mauled here or some shit? too bad for them. they should have brought protection.
one walk through the jungle later and where the fuck am I now?  looks pretty badass. might as well check it out.  ...it's a witch. says she needs a mushroom for a witch's brew. gave her the one I found in the jungle and she gave me some magic sprinkle powder. what the fuck do I do with this, snort it? |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 3, 2015 0:10:21 GMT -8
 Got lost in the jungle and decided to go back into town.  I met up with that girl that found me... why does she remind me of Raine?  I've never even seen Raine irl before, but she just seems, so familiar. Maybe it's her similarities with Kat... I wonder if Raine is as good at singing as Marin is...
So, her uncle or whatever, Tarin, is in the woods. might as well see if he knows where the fuck that key is at.  Fell down a well, found some poor chump's remains at the bottom. found a piece of a heart-shaped container.  Might as well grab it, that guy's too dead to make use of it. Now to get the fuck out of here. Never stay near someone else's dead body for too long.
Back to the jungle to look for Tarin's fat ass and that key.  ...it's a raccoon.  ...sensitive to powder, you say? take a whiff of this, furball.  .....what the FUCK was in that powder?!  So it was actually Tarin high as fuck on mushrooms? What kind of Alice in Wonderland bullshit is this? Looks like he's not going to help me. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 3, 2015 0:25:58 GMT -8
 Look at that, a treasure chest... in the middle of the jungle. It better not be boobie-trapped.  Who the fuck puts a chest in the middle of a fucking rainforest with an important fucking key in it anyways? Whoever's the brains behind this geocatching treasure hunt must be fucking insane.  ...speak of the devil. I bet that fucking owl is behind all this. Keeps talking about entering some "tail cave" to get an instrument. Who the fuck would put a fucking musical instrument in a locked motherfucking cave? Oh wait, this owl, that's who.  I don't fucking care if the wind fish is waiting, owl. Shove it up your ass.  This place has a swamp...  ...and it has fucking piranhas in it. I hate the jungle.  fuck this jungle with a rusty blade up the ass.  okay, tail cave is over there, good to know.  there were some rock shooting bastards here, they were no match for me.  this must be it. why the fuck does this cave have bars on it?  the key fits like a glove. time to go in and get that fucking instrument for that owl. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 3, 2015 7:15:11 GMT -8
 ...who the fuck did the interior design for this cave?  knocked those fucking dome bugs into that pit, where the fuck did that chest come from?  What's the fucking deal here?! What kind of sick fuck is that owl anyways? LET ME OUT!  this is either some sort of gladiator cage match shit, or that owl is an asshole.  The enemies in this cave arn't that big of a deal, but where the fuck are they coming from? I swear they reappear the moment I leave the area. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 4, 2015 1:23:09 GMT -8
 another key.  move aside, fuckfaces  ...what the fuck is this.  who the fuck puts a stone fragment in a chest guarded by quadrant carebears?  "flip over the spined ones with a shield". good to know.  now that I have that fucking sliding floor axe blocked, I can use one of these keys...  ...what the fuck is this shit?  finally out of shitty mario ripoff dungeon.  ...great. more fucking sliding axes, next to even more fucking bottomless pits.  ...a feather? is it just me, or did I just get a fuckton lighter? |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 4, 2015 7:22:47 GMT -8
 this is fucking awesome. I can do frontflips like they're nothing now.  roller derby just got pinned.   trying to scare me with hanging skeletons? not gonna work. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 4, 2015 23:55:43 GMT -8
...a wormbot? wait....  is that pilot who I think it is?  ...frozenLake?  "Charles, it's me, Seth. Look: I'm sorry for trying to kill you, again. How was I supposed to know what the fuck the red rift was supposed to do?...are you even listening? starter to Charles, I'm talking to you!"  shit, he's not listening! and he's trying to push me off this fucking ledge!  I don't want to do this, but you're not leaving me any choice here.  ...please forgive me. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 5, 2015 0:01:41 GMT -8
 ...he's dead. and it's my fault.  ...again.  ...another one of those heart shaped containers. It doesn't look like it's fragmented like that other one from earlier.  ... |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 5, 2015 0:09:58 GMT -8
 ...I found it. The instrument that owl wanted me to find.  that owl is going to pay for making me dirty my hands again.  When I find that owl again, he's going to wish he never met me. He'll be crying all the way back to Athena's side.  And that's a fucking promise. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 5, 2015 2:43:50 GMT -8
 I'm glad to be out of that fucking dungeon cave. No wonder it was locked up.  ...YOU! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, OWL?  ...sent to give me directions? WHO SENT YOU?! WHY THE FUCK DOES YOUR EMPLOYER WANT TO WAKE UP A FUCKING FISH? That wind fish sounds like nothing but bad news. Why the fuck else would he be asleep in a way that only 8 instruments (of torture?) can wake him up?  I know how this goes usually, I've skimmed quite a few land quests here and there. They always seal the fucking bad guy so only the shitty protagonist can unlock them, EXCEPT THEY FORGET TO TELL THE KID THAT HE'S MAKING THE WORST FUCKING MISTAKE OF HIS ENTIRE LIFE BY RELEASING HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! I'M NOT FALLING FOR YOUR SHIT, MESSENGER OWL!  ...Where the fuck did he go? ...fucking owl... |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 5, 2015 2:56:54 GMT -8
 what the fuck do these kids want?  who the fuck are The Moblins? some shitty band?  ...these kids aren't making any fucking sense. I have more important things to care about.  wonder what happened to that fucking terrifying ball and chain that was chained up here.  heh, this little one is actually kinda cute.
Might as well check to see if anyone's home.  ...you call that a dog?  Now I kind of want to meet these moblin badasses. They must be metal as fuck to steal a fucking ballchain dog, let alone one that looks like it could bite somebody's fucking head off. |
|
|
|
Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 5, 2015 21:52:18 GMT -8
Hello Marin, sup?  You can't blame the old man for sleeping, he just got turned back from being a raccoon.  the same song as earlier. She really likes to sing. I wonder if she's famous on this island or anything.  I saw something back this way earlier.  another one of those heart container pieces. I don't know why, but they make me feel stronger.  is this the swamp that owl wanted me to go to? fuck that.   ...wtf is with this owl statue? the wind fish isn't wind or a fish? then what the fuck is it? |
|
