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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 7, 2015 22:00:44 GMT -8
 fuck this castle.  no wonder he ran the fuck away from it like a bitch.  now we can get that shitty key.   why do I have to move that box? is it fucking booby-trapped?  ...fuck you, dick. I'd watch your wording if I were you on that one.shut up rob.
 ...if dick pulls any fasts ones on me, he is so getting it. that's what she said.FINE, I'LL CALL HIM RICHARD. IT DOESN'T CHANGE THAT HE'S A DICK.  there it is, right past that gap. The slime key. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 8, 2015 6:16:20 GMT -8
 ...This isn't the fucking key!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!  Come on, let's just go this way.IT'S NOT GONNA BE THERE. RICHARD IS A FUCKING LIAR. It's an important item to our quest, it has to be around here somewhere.IF IT'S NOT HERE... RICHARD IS GONNA JOIN THE REST OF THE SKELETONS DOWN HERE.  If you try to attack that man, I will not hesitate to stop you.What are you gonna do? Place a curse on me? Set me on fire? Let's just say I can posses a lot more than just phones.  This place is bullshit. Fucking potholes everywhere.
 ...what the fuck? Look down, there's a secret down there... wait, why does this seem familiar...whatever.  YES! I GOT IT! Now let's get the fuck out of here. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 9, 2015 8:25:38 GMT -8
 Never asking Richard for anything ever again. Who the fuck sends someone to retrieve 5 shitty gold leaves and then has them crawl through a fucking minefield to get their reward? Richard obviously. Now to finally get into this fucking dungeon and get closer to leaving this shithole.  just letting you know, you're gonna have to go around the gate.I'm not blind, I can see the the gate.
 what's holding you up?I'm... making sure I get this jump right. Sure. I'll be waiting over here.
 Here it is. Let's go. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 10, 2015 6:14:01 GMT -8
 Key cavern... the third instrument is waiting.
 ...a key. You're gonna see a lot more of those here. where the fuck is the key here? not everything is a key, you know.
 ...great. Locked doors. You have a key, right?yeah, but I don't want to waste it yet. these kind of keys snap in the locks. Fair enough.
 LET ME GO FORWARDS, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE Seth, cool it, your running speed isn't gonna cut it against this thing.THEN I'LL RUN FASTER. ...good luck on that one.
 I just want to ram into this pillar and smash it into pieces.
 ...what the fuck is that bird thing?  Sweet, another key.  ...seriously, this dungeon is fucking key-shaped?  where does this lead...
 Take that, you shitty wall...  ...seriously? a gap that big? what the fuck is with this dungeon? there's obviously a tool you need to find here.Well I'm not seeing it anywhere. Keep looking, you'll find it. Not in this room of course, but somewhere. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 12, 2015 11:31:37 GMT -8
 Is it in here? Nope. Here?  nope.fuck this dungeon.
 Eat explosives, bitches.  No problem here. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 12, 2015 11:35:22 GMT -8
 this better be something fucking useful.  ...boots? What the fuck? Not just any kind of boots. Try them on. holyshitimgoingsofastgetthefuckoutofmyway!  YOUR WINDY SHIT CAN'T STOP ME!  ...another fucking key. them's the breaks.I hate this fucking dungeon. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 12, 2015 11:42:36 GMT -8
 alright. I can do this. I have a plan. are you sure about this?I'm 100% fucking sure. Just watch me.  FUCK YES! It worked! well there you go. finally a key that's actually worth something.
 Compass? useless.  stone slab? what's on this one?  ...that's it? that doesn't fucking help at all. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 12, 2015 15:24:03 GMT -8
 Fuck this dungeon, let's get out of here.
 There we go, a phone booth.  Alright, now to dial the number... {open phonetaplog} ???: Hello?Seth: who is this????: Oh, hello Seth.Seth: what the fuck is it with strangers knowing my name????: Strangers...?Seth: who the fuck are you????: Oh, this must be the earliest point we've met on your timeline!???: This is kind of exciting.???: You may call me Mr. Break. Seth: ...great, time shit.Seth: what the fuck do you want?Mr. Break: I simply answered a ringing phone.Mr. Break: I think the better question is, what do you want?Seth: short term I want to know where the fuck the last key in key cavern is, long term I want to get the fuck off this island and wake up.Mr. Break: Well, the latter is a bit large-scale for a single conversation.Seth: figuredMr. Break: I think I can help you with the former, though the fact you're in a dreambubble combined with the difficulty in seeing time players' timelines might make it a bit vaguer than you'd like...Mr. Break: You will have to take an obscure side path, and then bomb a wall.Seth: what wall? I don't even know which fucking obscure side path you're talking about.Mr. Break: I'm sorry, I can only see so much.Seth: I don't exactly like others to spy on me. Sounds like something those shitty horrorterrors would use against me.Mr. Break: Then maybe this would be the time to do things you don't want others to see.Mr. Break: But, that's not my area of expertise.Seth: ...what are you trying to suggest there?Mr. Break: I am almost certain you will come out of this ordeal alive.Seth: I'm not falling for whatever shitty tricks you're trying to pull on me. Mr. Break: That is true.Seth: you're never going to get blackmail material on me with that strategy.Mr. Break: I'm not trying to.Seth: Good.Seth: now fuck off to whatever time you're jacking off in. I have a key to look for.I don't want to trust that person. It's the only lead you got though.Listen: the more others know about you, the more they can exploit you and fuck everything up for you. I've already been through enough shit. I don't want even more stalking me. ...you do know not everyone's out to get you?I know that, but with a track record like mine, I can't be too careful. ...let's get back to the dungeon and find that key. The sooner we're done with it, the sooner we can move on here. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 14, 2015 20:49:54 GMT -8
 what the fuck was a shell doing stuck in a tree? what were you doing running into trees in the first place?
 let's find that side path.  This way.  Hey, the compass is making the secret noise. There's a secret around here.Where? Start looking....down there? great.  Move aside, walking bombs. I got a boot to kick with you.  how the fuck do they hide those walls like that? like a proper dungeon wall repair crew does. who knows. YES! GOT THE KEY! |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 20, 2015 6:09:57 GMT -8
 let's go down.  that's an obvious trap if I ever did see one. Take that, you shitty block.  fucking spikes...
 these boots are a breeze.  ...what the fuck is this key for? didn't we unlock everything? maybe it's a spare?what kind of dungeon leaves a spare key lying around? one that has as many locked doors as this one obviously. whatever, let's just get going. we have a boss to fight. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 20, 2015 19:56:25 GMT -8
  ...what the fuck? an empty room? where's that voice coming from?  something tells me this room isn't that empty... Seth, look up. ...is that, who I think it is? using their template, likely.how the fuck do I get that pompous bitch down? use your head. ow fuck stupid wall what do you know... your impossibly thick skull actually came to some good use. I'M GONNA SLICE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU UNTIL YOU'RE NOTHING BUT JELLY!  looks like you just got served with a glass of milk.shut up, rob. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 20, 2015 21:13:02 GMT -8
 ...there, he's dead now.  correction: the nightmare using that familiar form is dead. The genuine article is probably still alive out there somewhere.
 I remember he was the first person I ever stabbed... it was an accident at the time, but something about it... just sort of... spoke to me? this sounds like a bunch of bullshit right now. If it weren't for that idiot getting in the way while me and Kat were vent strifing, I don't know...  Are you trying to say this was the first pitstop on your path to darkness?do you have to put it that way? well, you did go on to go after him to finish the job, right? and weren't there a couple others that you went after, including the guy I'm based off of?yeah, I guess so. It was weird though. On one hand I was afraid as fuck, having to follow Chronos's orders... but at the same time, it almost felt like I was... completing a prophecy, if that makes any sense? Like, I was finally doing... what I was made to do or some shit?  Maybe you're more right than you think... but wait, did you really have to follow his orders?  ...I don't want to talk about that.    I won't force it out, but it feels like something that might have to get hashed out later. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 21, 2015 21:36:08 GMT -8
 So, we need to find a waterfall... didn't we find one yesterday?that one with the weird as fuck keyhole in the ground? sounds like a good place as any to put a dungeon around here... ...how the fuck does that owl talk so much? I dunno, but we should probably get our butts moving towards the desert....there's a desert on this island? looks like it. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 23, 2015 22:59:00 GMT -8
 here again. why am I not surprised?shhh, she's getting to the high notes. you've heard her sing this song at least 3 times now, give it a break.
 "hey bow-wow, it's me, Seth. Did you miss me?" "ARF ARF!" "Is madame meow-meow treating you alright?" "ARF ARF ARF!" "That's good to hear. Seeya some other time, Bow-wow." Shouldn't we be getting to the desert?Wait a moment, I have something I want to take care of first.  You're not thinking of going back down a level, are you?I need answers and this is the way I'm going to get them. I need to know what the fuck crawled up that bizarro puppet's ass to make it threaten me. obviously it was a tentacle....shut up rob. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Mar 23, 2015 23:14:03 GMT -8
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