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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 5, 2015 23:57:50 GMT -8
Let's see where this leads...  Do you realize who the fuck you're raising your blade against? I won't hesitate to kill you if you get any closer.  he asked for it.     So these are the moblins I've been hearing about? At first I didn't want to fight, but these assholes don't seem to take no for an answer.  he put up a good fight, but I made it through. Definitely a worthy opponent. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 6, 2015 1:29:43 GMT -8
 ...there's bow-wow. No use in keeping it here with nobody to care for it.  let's go back to your fucking owner... after a short walk.  chill the fuck out, bow-wow, I'm reading a sign here.  ...great. the fucking owl is here.  Sic 'em bow-wow.  bow-wow, eat the birdy.  what fucking use is a "dog" that's actually a fucking ball and chain with teeth if it can't even go after your enemies? This is complete bullshit.  No, bow-wow, we are not lost, I just took a detour, okay?  a really long detour, that goes through a cave.  ...fuck it, I'm calling someone for directions. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 8, 2015 22:44:24 GMT -8
 ....I just realized, I don't know anybody's phone numbers. RING RING!...holy shit, the phone is ringing. maybe whoever's calling can tell me which way I should be going.  {open phonetaplog} Ben: ...whatSeth: holy shit, is that you ben?Ben: ...seth?Seth: yeah, it's meBen: where are you? are you okay?Bow-wow: *arf arf*Seth: Shut up bow-wowSeth: I'm fine, I think.Seth: on some shitty islandBow-wow: *arf arf*Seth: I told you to shut up over there!Ben: what is that?Seth: some lady's so-called dog. I'm returning it to her soon.Ben: there are other people?Seth: yeah. not that many, but there's people here.Seth: there's a fuckton of monsters around too.Ben: can you handle it?Seth: of course I can handle it.Seth: the monsters here are no match for me.Bow-wow: *arf arf*Ben: well, now that i have some idea of where you are, i can at least start to actually make progress towards finding you...Ben: does the island have a name?Seth: I think marin mentioned it once or twice... kolohint?Ben: ...waitBen: koholint?Seth: yeah, kolohint islandSeth: yeah, I know, weird name.Ben: ...you arent fucking with me, are youSeth: why the fuck would I be fucking with you?Ben: koholint island, link's awakeningBen: one of my favorite zelda gamesSeth: ...link's awakening? zelda game?Ben: yeah, game boyBen: it was my shit growing upSeth: ....Ben: wonder if the dreambubble got generated from my memories somehow...Seth: what the fuck is going on here?!Ben: are you trying to wake the wind fish?Bow-wow: *arf arf arf* Seth: SHUT THE FUCK UP BOW WOWBen: hey, be thankful for himBen: he'll take out enemies for youSeth: calm down.... *deep breathing*Bow-wow: *arf arf*Ben: listen, im gonna assume based on what ive heard that youre more or less following the plot of link's awakeningSeth: ow fuck my handBen: so with that in mind, let me give you some adviceBen: dont get too attached to the island, or anyone on itBen: when the windfish wakes up, its gonna be goneBen: bye bye koholintSeth: ...what?Ben: alright, im gonna go ahead and give you some plot spoilersSeth: ....I knew it, the wind fish is an evil assfaceBen: not exactlyBen: koholint isnt real.Ben: its a dreamSeth: ... Ben: more specifically, the wind fish's dreamBen: and what happens to a dream when you wake up?Ben: it stops existingSeth: ....Ben: and so does everyone and everything in itSeth: I'M NOT GOING TO WAKE THAT SHITFACE UP! I DON'T WANT TO STOP EXISTING WITH THE REST OF THIS FUCKING ISLANDBen: no, youll be fineSeth: ARE YOU SURE?Ben: you arent part of the dream, you just showed up in itBen: when the wind fish wakes up, so will youSeth: YOU BETTER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. Ben: youre in one of my ship's recuperation pods right nowBen: what im warning you about is, be careful not to get too attachedBow-wow: *arf arf*Seth: *sighing noise*Ben: and hey, maybe try to have a little fun with itBen: koholint's one of my favorite zelda worldsBen: id kill to be experiencing it in personSeth: ...Ben: if you ever get stuck, gimme a call ok?Ben: and im gonna keep trying to meet up with you in the dreambubbleSeth: alright, I'll do that... I need a moment to straighten things out.Ben: totally coolSeth: this is the biggest mindfuck since that time I found out some of my memories aren't even real.Ben: im more curious how the hell you ended up in a game boy gameSeth: it doesn't look like a gameboy game.Seth: my sylladex looks like it came from one though.Ben: i bet game boy games dont ever look like game boy games to the characters in itBow-wow: *arf arf*Seth: so... I'm going to actually have to listen to the owl, get the rest of the instruments, wake up the shitfish and blow up the island to get out of here?Ben: thats how the original game workedSeth: ...great.Ben: i mean, its possible youll have some other workaround since you arent a 16x16 sprite on a gameboy screenBen: but youre probably gonna have to go with the straightforward pathBow-wow: *arf arf arf*Seth: okay okay bow-wow, i'll hurry up here.Ben: hey, one last thingSeth: what is it?Ben: do you have music?Seth: what do you mean?Seth: I found a bitching sweet celloBen: is there music playing in the background during your adventures?Seth: ....I don't think so?Ben: aw damnBow-wow: *arf arf*Ben: link's awakening had a great soundtrackBen: gonna have to play it for you when you get backSeth: alright.Seth: I guess I'll talk to you later, Ben.Ben: yeah, alrightSeth: I have a swamp to wade through.Ben: see you later, thenBow-wow: *arf arf*...why the fuck does this shit have to happen to me? why can't it just be a normal situation where I'm being chased down by an angry mob or some shit and not some shitty postmodern acid trip actively trying to rob me of my fucking sanity? I need to take a walk. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 9, 2015 1:19:48 GMT -8
 we're off to see the wizard of ass.  first stop: shit creek.  I guess Ben was right about Bow-wow being useful. He just eats anything in our path.  ...seriously? the doorway's too fucking small for bow-wow to fit in? ...fine. Bow-wow, wait outside for a bit. If I don't come back, I'm sure you'll be fine. just don't let any assholes yank your chain. Better yet, bite their fucking faces off. That'll work. Hopefully I'll see you when I get out of here.  ...great. a fuckton of heavy unmovable pottery. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 9, 2015 9:27:39 GMT -8
 time to do the dungeon tango. Who even designs these places?  wHAT IS THIS TRIANGLE SHIT? dID I JUST FIND MAGIC STEROIDS?  ...where's that triangle when I need it.
 ...what just happened? one moment I was fighting a cyclops, it was fucking crushing me and the next moment I know I'm back at the dungeon entrance. ...did I almost die?  it doesn't matter though, I still need to kill that cyclops.  ...fuck. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 10, 2015 0:22:28 GMT -8
 I can barely stand up at this point, but I did it. I killed the cyclops.  This fairy wants to heal my wounds for freeing it. That sounds like a good deal if I ever did hear of one.   ...pols voice? stalfos? what the fuck is this slab trying to talk about?  ...a bracelet. Looks a little weird, but I guess it's important if it was in a chest like that.  This bracelet is awesome! I don't think I've ever lifted something this heavy! Now to get past this blocked path.  It doesn't matter if the plant has teeth or not, it's toast at the end of my scythe.  eat pottery, ear-bunnies!  ....it's locked. I'm going to call Ben or something for help. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 10, 2015 0:38:18 GMT -8
 Come on bow-wow, we're on our way back to the phone house again.  ...fuck, I don't remember Ben's number. Maybe if I wait for it to ring he'll answer. RING RING!there it goes.  {open phonetaplog}
Seth: ...hello?
Micha: ...Is this Seth?
Seth: yeah. who's this? you sound vaguely familiar.
Seth: do you happen to know where the fuck I can find the nightmare key for the swamp dungeon?
Micha: Hi, yeah... uh... I really only have a question...
Seth: what is it?
Micha: Not sure about a nightmare key...
Micha: Right um...
Bow-wow: *arf arf*
Seth: bow-wow, calm down, I'll get you some more swamp plants later.
Micha: Do you know how to recover from a horrible mistake? Like... you did something... unforgivable... how do you make things right again?
Seth: heh, I know all about that.
Seth: the best thing is to just try to move on, own up to your actions, and live one day at a time.
Seth: shit won't always go the way you want it to, but it does get better.
Micha: I hear that... a lot I guess...
Micha: I just want to get stronger than this...
Seth: it's tough, but it's something you can work towards.
Micha: I try...
Micha: But sometimes I feel like its just not worth anything...
Micha: ...but what about you?
Micha: did you have something that was worth fighting for?
Seth: I don't even know anymore. I've been so fucking confused the past couple weeks. So far I guess I'm just fighting to wake up or whatever the fuck is supposed to happen when I wake the asshole wind fish. I don't know what is even real anymore.
Seth: fuck, I'm not even sure if I'm real.
Micha: If it makes you feel any better, I'm probably in some kind of coma
Micha: Probably not.
Seth: welcome to the club.
Micha: ...were you ever like...
Micha: just, defeated?
Seth: ...
Seth: sometimes it feels like it.
Micha: ...have you ever had to put the scythe down?
Seth: ...how the fuck do you know I use a scythe?
Micha: Have you?
Seth: for all I know, I probably have, but maybe it's another overwritten memory.
Micha: There was a time where I had to put down my gun. I had fired it too many times... too many mistakes that came with it.
Micha: It's just... after I did... I felt like I didn't even have an identity anymore.
Micha: I had no qualities that made me stand out besides the mistakes I had made.
Seth: ...
Bow-wow: *arf arf*
Seth: bow-wow, can you wait outside?
Micha: Sorry... I haven't.. .really talked to anyone in a bit..
Seth: it's alright...
Seth: it's just, dredging up a lot of buried feelings.
Micha: sorry...
Seth: maybe we'll both find our way out of this...
Micha: Thanks for listening I guess...
Micha: Oh.
Micha: By the way...
Seth: ...what?
Micha: The key is in the bottle Grotto. You have to kill certain enemies in a sequence.
Seth: is that what that slab was talking about? with the pols voice and the stalfos, whatever the fuck those are?
Micha: I suppose so.
Micha: I guess light powers come in handy once in a while.
Seth: you're pretty lucky, I don't even know if I can use my time powers here.
Micha: Maybe you should have started as the hero of time, rather than the hero of tacky clothing
Seth: ...what the fuck did you just call me?
Micha: i was attempting a joke
Micha: classic that it fails
Seth: wasn't very funny.
Micha: yeah...
Micha: sorry...
Seth: I don't think I ever caught your name...
Micha: It's... not too important... its uh... Micha... I guess...
Seth: Micha.... a pretty cool name.
Micha: ...
Seth: names are more important than you think.
Micha: I guess I kind of understand that...
Micha: Just by calling me something else I felt like I would be more powerful and be different...
Micha: It... wasn't really the case...
Micha: I was just an asshole...
Seth: but you can always try again, and try better. Who needs a special name to hide behind?
Micha: If I could, I'd be hiding behind anything.
Seth: fuck, I wish I could help you.
Micha: I wish I could help me.
Micha: ...I feel like I've said too much...
Micha: Uh...
Micha: good luck with your.... adventure thing...
Seth: good luck to you too...
Well, that wasn't Ben, but it was at least somebody to talk to. It seems like she's in the same boat I'm in... for the most part. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 11, 2015 6:35:00 GMT -8
 Going back to the swamp dungeon. 
 it took a while, but after checking the map for treasure and a little bit of trial and error, I found where I needed to go.  I have the key now.  I guess it's time to face whatever's behind this door.
    ...a clown. That doesn't work on me.  ....just fucking great. Now I have to walk all the way back to the boss room... again.  "I'm back to take you down. ...Rob? what the fuck are you doing here as a clown genie? you do realize I have to kill you to get this dungeon's instrument?""Hey, just do us both a favor and cut the crap. We both have our roles here: you're the killer hero and I'm your second least threatening nightmare apparently.""...you can speak?""Shh, don't let the big bird hear us. Just do your thing and I'll do mine." "....if that's what you want, I guess I have no choice but to comply." and with that, he's gone.  Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!what the fuck?! surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd saw the last of me?what.  chill. we can talk a bit later after you grab that instrument in the next room.how the fuck are you talking to me? I just killed you! you see that heart shaped gem in your hands? that's a heart container. it's a magical item that boosts the user's vitality for as long as they live. the moment they kick the bucket though, they lose ownership over the heart container, usually.
I guess you can say I'm an exception to the rule. The moment you touched the heart container, it synchronized to your pulse, allowing us to telepathically communicate. I can tell exactly how fast your heart is going. it's fairly quick right now, but it's starting to slow back down to normal speed. fairly normal for right after a fight....stay the fuck away from my heart. hey, you got yourself into this mess. you could have just walked right past this container. The contract is sealed and you're stuck with me for life. Seeing as you can't physically die while here, it's gonna be a long ride.... don't you "..." me! get moving! The conch is waiting. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 11, 2015 6:43:08 GMT -8
 there it is...  now let's get the fuck out of here.  
 So the next place is the Prairie... funny, haven't been there before....I'm going to start ignoring you. suit yourself.let's get going, bow-wow. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 12, 2015 12:36:40 GMT -8
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 12, 2015 14:32:02 GMT -8
 angler keyhole? where's the key? and what the fuck does this open up? I guess we'll find out when we get there.do you have to comment on everything like that? Yes. because it's my duty to make your stay here a living hell.you know what, I'm taking you somewhere.  You're going to be put to rest whether you like it or not. ...you do know that's not how it works, right?I'm sick of your fucking commentary and the fact that you have a DIRECT CONNECTION TO MY HEART. I'm willing to do anything to get rid of you. So rest in piss, get the fuck away.  ha. that's a good one. Look, let me let you in on a little secret: I'm a figment of your imagination, albeit one with the added perk of sentience. you can't get rid of me. I will persist just like that song you can't get out of your head. yeah, you know the one. that one right there. yeah.WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! the faster your heart beats, the stronger I become. Getting you irritated is by far the easiest and most satisfying way to get what I want. AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!! |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 12, 2015 14:50:59 GMT -8
 Jump into the hole, Now. ...did you really just buy a shovel so you could shove an intangible entity in a hole? Great forethought there.
   I think we both know the answer to that one. ... Hey, you got major dokis for that girl, don't try to deny it.I'm not supposed to get attached to anyone here. So what if it ends in heartbreak? At least you have this moment to relish in. I'd say go for the girl.she's part of the dream, isn't she? when I get the fuck out of here, she'll be gone with the rest of the island. That she is, but you can still enjoy her company while you still can.don't make this anymore harder than it has to be. I don't have to, she does the job just fine....shut up. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 12, 2015 22:30:28 GMT -8
 another keyhole.  let's see if this weirdo knows anything about a slime key...   You know what? If you got a problem with Bow-wow, too bad. This beautiful hound has had my back for a while now and I'm not abandoning him outside for anything. Not your shit, and not your frogs. Fuck you, fancy-pants.
  ...what the fuck? Look down, there's a secret down there.  looks like you fucked up.ARE YOU JUST GOING TO FLOAT THERE?! I HAVE A FUCKING PLANT INTERSECTED IN MY TORSO You shouldn't have messed with that map magic. You're not gonna make it.I THOUGHT YOU SAID I COULDN'T DIE HERE It's a bit more complicated than that. While it's true that you can't end your life in the physical world from here, due to failsafe kickback usually occurring, others on the outside can still kill you and trap you here forever.
Another thing, if you happen to stumble into a doomed timeline, you become disconnected from the alpha. This place is constructed in a way that usually prevents doomed situations, but through the misuse of certain types of forbidden magic, it is possible to slip into a trap you can't escape from.
This fork doesn't have much time left on it.if.. this is a doomed timeline.... then why didn't i sense it? Time doesn't flow the same way here as it does in the outside world. Calling it a doomed timeline is a bit of a misnomer, but its effects are nearly identical. This small pocket of divergence will dissolve soon. It was nice knowing you while it lasted.......this..... is the worst fucking dream ever......
 Fuck that guy. We don't need him.  if he can't handle bow-wow in his house, then he's not worth my time.  Didn't you used to be afraid of that dog?but I got over it.  and if I can get used to bow-wow, he can and should too.  but who cares about him? I can figure things out just...  looks like you fucked up. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 13, 2015 23:12:00 GMT -8
 ...and that's how it rolls around here.so wait, you're saying I'm a sitting duck if anyone wanted to assassinate me in my sleep? that all depends on how trustworthy your friends are. You and Ben seem to be pretty tight from what I can tell, so it's probably safe to say he's got your back while you're here. Also, there's a chance your past self on the farm could show up.no, I never skipped out on farm work back then. Considering you went through the rift a second time, and all the memory manipulation, you could be wrong. ...don't remind me. Do you know what it's like to not be able to trust your own fucking memories? it's like being told you're living a lie. How the fuck are you supposed to keep track of time shit if you can't be sure what the fuck went down? the way those that live lies usually do: one day at a time. ...let's get out of this area.
 great, a dead end. let's go back to town.
     ...seriously? as I mentioned before, time here flows differently. It's only natural that a native to this environment would have trouble grasping the concept in its traditional form.You know what? I'm going to change that.  "WITNESS THE POWER OF TIME!" ... well, you did something. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Feb 15, 2015 0:52:40 GMT -8
 this place has a claw game? tight.  easy.  it's been a little while since I've called anyone.  ring ring!Let's see who's on the line... {show phonetaplog}some puppy?: woof!
Seth: ...what the fuck
was that call for bow-wow? doubtful. probably a doggy butt-dial.doggy butt dial... wait, that reminds me of the time a puppy almost activated the hyperdrive on a spaceship, got stopped by the crew, only to be told by SJ that they had to get moving anyways. could it be the same dog?maybe. it doesn't sound important though. ring ring!another call? {show phonetaplog}Seth: hello?  Charles?: KILL ME ... why am I not surprised that he's still out there...why the fuck does he want me to kill him? he's a walking enigma. anyone with his lopsided luck and a decent head on their shoulders would actually be a threat. we should feel lucky he spends his energy on the most pointless things.I guess you have a point there, but the question still stands. Besides, I've already had to kill him once while here. who knows...
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