None Pizza With Left Beef

> birds: you're MEAN >:(



You are now the birds.
Anything for the high quality bird feed.

---

> Adjust camera to view nearby controls, avoiding the source of the TEMPORALLY AMBIGUOUS RED SPLATTER.



I go ahead and do that, in the slight sliver of hope that its actually ketchup.
You (the birds) hop about on the funney keyboard.

---

> Birds: collect your egg. also be grossed out about egghead



You are a bit busy, so you let your handler, the biggest bird in the house, handle the handling.

---

> CAW CAW CAW.



With your mission complete and your desire for tomfoolery fulfilled, you make your way back to the pad leading back to Charcherry, where your sleigh is parked.
You plan on taking a long nap after this.

---

> Ace Starling: Coldly regard SBIRB disks



You are now Ace Starling, heir of blood.
You once played a game with three of your friends that essentially ended the world as you knew it. The only thing that remains is this city, which you have been put in charge of.
The game you played gave you a role and responsibility in exchange for godhood, but at what cost?

If only this didn't have to happen...

> Anxious Egghead: Are you okay? :(



You are... wait, where are you??

---

==>



This isn't the station! Who the hell is that?!
But most importantly...

WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR EGG?!

---

> Strange Feral Green and White Crane: Eat the egg



You are now this crane. Your name is Flock Ornis and you are a First Guardian.
You're not quite sure why you're here, but you see a large egg that you want to eat.

---

==>



You lunge forward in an attempt to snare your prey from this pesky pelican!

[commands open!]

---

forum.homestuck.xyz/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=1672&p=20434#p20434 (mirror!)

> PUNCH THE BIRD



You slam your fist into the attacking bird, with a secret weapon: an ordinary rock from Earth C!
Despite trying to flail and teleport or whatever, your jabs are faster than this crane can react.

---

> First Guardian: Experience a sudden and unexpected loss of your powers, as the Green Sun collapses into a Black Hole.



Okay, what the heck, what is this pelican chump doing? IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?! You're a First Guardian for frog's sake! You should be able to handle situations like this!

You have been stunned and neutralized!

---

==>



...Great.

---

forum.homestuck.xyz/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=1672&p=20449#p20449 (mirror!)

> Black Pelican: Deliver your evil monologue



You are now the black pelican.
You've never really been one much for monologues, even evil ones.
You're a bird of few words, as it were.

However, there is a certain someone that you should probably contact about this. Someone who is known for their evil monologues...

...your boss who sent you on this special mission.
Maybe he might give you a raise after he finds out you captured a first guardian?

---

> [P] BP: Contact your boss



Sadly, this is not a scene that can easily be rendered.
(Note! [P] means puzzle!)

---

> Ornis: Begin Jailbreak Adventure



You are now Flock Ornis, and you are just 100 percent done with this.
There are a number of crows mocking you right outside of your jail cell. It's likely your powers will not return until after you escape from this cage.

What will you do?

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forum.homestuck.xyz/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=1672&p=20466#p20466 (mirror!)

> F.O: Assess your wounds.



You're not particularly injured, aside from your pride.
Your feathers smell nasty from those ketchup stains though.

---

> F.O: Try to press the "==>" button



Very fortunately, your beak is able to reach the ==> key!

---

> CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW.



"...hm?"

---

> Jehr ma



"...jerma?"

---

> po uqu igtwn betdxtaep! Hanp ig!!



"Your input is scrambled."

---

> CAW



"I have had enough birds for today. I need to recharge."

---

> Rlacsa, aoq jarg tk uarg ma!



"Bother someone with more battery power. Goodnight."

---

> CAWCACJ!



...Well, that didn't work out so well.

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forum.homestuck.xyz/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=1672&p=20471#p20471 (mirror!)