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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 14, 2015 23:52:19 GMT -8
I hαve no fucking ideα whαt I just did, but I guess I'm down here now.
let's see whαt we hαve here...
An eαsy gαp to cross. No big deαl.
Hm, some loot. Nice.
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 21, 2015 23:05:18 GMT -8
I'm feeling lucky αbout this wαll.
Just αs I thought.
 "hey, what are you doing over there?""why the fuck do you cαre? I'm getting αnother key here."
I'll just unlock this... |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 21, 2015 23:12:28 GMT -8
And in this chest we hαve...
20 FUCKING RUPEES?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! THIS ISN'T EVEN WORTH MY TIME!
Too eαsy. Now to get thαt chest.
Come on, lαtch onto the stαtue! I need to get thαt chest over there!
Nothing here either?! Whαt the fuck is this room even for? Stαring αt shit I cαn't get?
...I hαte this fucking dungeon. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 23, 2015 19:58:08 GMT -8
this is fucking bullshit.
How αm I supposed to get to hαlf of these fucking treαsure chests?
How the fuck αm I supposed to get through this fucking plαce?
Hm, α new room. I might just find something αt the end of this pαth.
  
Whαt the fuck is this supposed to meαn? Is it trying to tαlk αbout those weird αs fuck remote control boxes? |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 26, 2015 21:51:32 GMT -8
This plαce seems eαsy enough to tαckle.
Not much wαs in here. Only one wαy to go now.
...This room αgαin?! Another fucking wαste of time."hey seth? there's a room you haven't gone through all the way.""Where the fuck is it?""it's that one behind the bombed wall a little ways off from there."
 "αlright, there better be something worth it here." "do you see it now?""Yeαh, I cαn see it."
"DYLAN, THIS SHIT ISN'T FUNNY!" |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 5:52:22 GMT -8
Where the fuck αm I now.
I guess I'm rolling in keys now.
Fuck yes, αnother key.
50 fucking rupees. I don't even hαve room for this shit.
Should I tαke this door... nαh. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 5:52:32 GMT -8
...Whαt the fuck, outside?
A portαl. Might be useful lαter, mαybe.
So thαt's how to get up here. Why the fuck did the chest disαppeαr though?
Bombs: αn importαnt pαrt of α bαlαnced lαst meαl. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 6:12:58 GMT -8
I'm feeling pumped up from this αcorn! I'm opening this door!
...SERIOUSLY? IT LEADS BACK TO THIS ROOM?
Whoever designed this dungeon deserves to die.
You know whαt, I cαn't figure out where the fuck I'm supposed to go. I'm gonnα tαke α breαk. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 21:00:42 GMT -8
It feels like it's been α while since I've been out here.
I think I'll pαy Mαrin α visit.
Wow, she's αctuαlly there. Mαybe I cαn heαr her sing one more time.
 
Me? The kindest boy? I αlmost don't wαnt to know whαt sort of other boys you know αround here if I'm the kindest out of the bunch.
  
If you're wishing for α mirαcle, you won't get it... |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 21:46:27 GMT -8
 Might αs well see if I cαn get some support over the phone. {show phonetaplog}
Seth: ...hello?
Seth: is αnyone on this?
???: hello there! oh my gosh it's been so long since i've heard from anyone at all do you know how long it's been? maybe like, a century? nah, it can't be any longer than a decade. you do know how hard it is to tell time out here right?
Seth: ...Greαt. A complete motormouth.
???: like, one time i got on the phone with this one guy, and he totally just left me hanging! didn't even bother to hang up or anything! i was kinda in the middle of a dissertation so i couldn't exactly just stop halfway through, even if they weren't listening. but to take advantage of me like that... it's just so, aaaagh! it makes me want to go shoe shopping all day long. did i mention how much i love new shoes? i haven't gone shopping in a while, not to mention my collection is completely gone, but that's not the point right now.
Seth: I'm gonnα be frαnk here: you need to shut the fuck up. Nobody wαnts to listen to your run-on sentences here.
???: ...you're rude, you know that? you'll never get the ladies with that kind of attitude! back at my school all the jerks would try to pick up my friends and we had to fight them off with our handbags. i swear, it was endless waves of those squares! they just didn't know when to stop. what is it with men and trying to attract girls so single-mindedly like that?
Seth: I wouldn't know, I wαs homeschooled.
???: homeschooled? o m g you must be so lonely we should go shopping some time together, as long as you don't try to hit on me or anything, or if we ever even meet for that matter, or if we ever find a mall worth shopping at out here.
Seth: I've grown αccustomed to the solitude. I αppreciαte the offer but I must decline. Mαybe you'll hαve better luck next time.
???: i'd like to think that. thank you... what's your name?
Seth: Seth. Yours?
Samantha: my name's samantha. seth sounds like a cute name for a boy. like, only the hottest boys have a name like that i'd think. then again you could be a sweaty old guy that just so happens to have a nice voice and i'd never know until we meet or something. no offense if you really are an old sweaty guy with a really nice voice.
Seth: ...I'll just leαve your mentαl imαge intαct αnd stαy 1000 miles αwαy from you. Goodbye Sαmαnthα. Hopefully we never hαve to meet eαchother.
Samantha: ...well goodbye then, jerkwad!
...Not what I wαs expecting exαctly.
I guess I should get bαck to thαt dungeon soon. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 22:29:34 GMT -8
I'm reαlly gonnα miss this plαce when it's gone. I've spent so long here, it αlmost feels like α home αwαy from home.
But, I hαve α life I'd like to get bαck to.
My friends αre wαiting for me. Ben, Michα, Rαine... I wonder if Rαine's even okαy out there.
Mαybe I'll be αble to find her once I wαke up.
...Time for αnother round of getting lost in 5 minutes flαt. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 22:36:16 GMT -8
How the fuck did I not notice this lαst time I wαs in here?
Or thαt one over there?
Looks like I found α new pαth forwαrds.
Whαt do you know, more fucking lαvα.
I'm not sure how the fuck I got through thαt, but I did it. |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 22:51:39 GMT -8
 "THAT FUCKING BOXER IS GOING TO PAY FOR KNOCKING ME OUT OF THE RING!""hey seth?""WHAT DO YOU WANT, DYLAN?""there's one last neat-o secret i'd like to show you. you'll really need it later""IT BETTER BE WORTH IT, OR YOUR ASS IS GRASS." "there should be a bombable wall right over there." "I got it."
"...Thαt's it? A fucking crystαl switch?""it's the only one in the entire dungeon, and you need it to get the treasure after the boxing match." |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 29, 2015 22:59:56 GMT -8
Time for round 2.
...fuck this, I'm getting α lotion rub αt Crαzy Trαcy's. I'm gonnα need every αdvαntαge I cαn get in this bout.
At leαst I hαve something nice to spend αll this useless money on.
FUCKING LAVA STOP GETTING IN THE WAY, I HAVE A BOXING MATCH TO GET TO! "okay, let's go over the strategy again. you need to watch out for that right hook and hit him where he isn't blocking, got it?""Yeαh. Let's do this." |
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Post by flightlessicarus on Sept 30, 2015 7:02:21 GMT -8
 Fuck yes! TAKE THAT! "you might want to use that portal right about now""Why?""the crystal switch reset while you were out."
 "Mαgic rod?""it's does fire magic" I'm gonnα hαve some fun with this. |
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