Hyacinth's Journal

December 11th, 2022
Another day. I've been getting to know the rest of the personal staff around here. Lenore the maid, Bill the cook, Aaron the handyman. turns out that Lucifer 's common reactions to things usually involve light property damage, so there's always someone on call to fix a dent in a wall or whatever. It takes some serious nerve and grit to put up with the devil's demands. Initially they were afraid around me, until they found out that I'm not an extension of their boss like the previous assistant. Apparently that doppelganger had this job before me?? They weren't too surprised when I told them about the killswitch. Apparently he tends to find a lot of ways to threaten his closest servants with death or something. Lenore thinks it has something to do with how wary he is about the possibility of assassination (apparently he even disappears via void powers when asleep to avoid any sneak attacks?), but Bill thinks it's just because Lucifer has no fucking idea how to order people around without threats. I think I can gel with this crew, probably.

December 13th, 2022 (technically its the 14th, but this is for events that happened on the 13th)
If Lucifer offers to take you to the batting cage, don't do it.
You'll thank me later.

December 18th, 2022
I had a dream earlier tonight. I had tried to kill my boss. I thought I had it all planned out-- stun with coffee and a quick punch, and then go in for the kill with a pacebreaker, but that wasn't enough. those fucking shadow tendrils got me. it's hard to finish him off without a proper long ranged weapon, and his office is practically designed to be passively protective on an architectural level.
perhaps one day I'll have the strategy worked out to execute in reality. it'll have to be perfect the first time however, as I only have one shot.
At least I can still dream of the attacks I'd land on him.

I also read the newsletter. I'm glad to hear that Galahad is doing so well in battle. Tell Galahad I'm proud of him.
I've been having to handle some communications lately, mostly just email stuff. There were some potentially useful pieces of information though. In an email correspondence from Johnny, there was a mention of a different mood on the air, aside from the Christmas stuff. I wonder what it means. also, apparently someone called Joni is doing some kinda krampus act, though I'm not sure if that will come into play beyond this building.
also, Nick. Lucifer is fucking pissed at you in particular. He got a report on your fight the other day and he started trying to plot against you. You're probably safe, on account of him not wanting none pizza with left beef to end with you, but I'd stay on your toes if I were you.
Be careful everyone.

December 22nd, 2022
I mentioned the stuff about Shard to the personal staff that was wondering about the last assistant's whereabouts. Bill couldn't believe something like that could happen, juju sucker or not. Aaron mentioned something about an email that I couldn't seem to focus on, though he seemed convinced that was related. He did theorize that I might work too closely to Lucifer to be able to grasp the email for some weird ass reason? I don't get it.
Lenore is just sorta glad that Shard has a new life beyond who and what they were before.
As for my opinion, I'm not sure. I feel like I'd have to meet them as they are now to get a full picture.

Meanwhile, there's been talk about a company Christmas party coming up soon, partially in hope that it'll burn off the last of the remaining Christmas spirit. At least, that's the official excuse being used to float the idea to those that are tired of the holiday's trappings. I wonder if anything will end up happening during that party...
Also, as an aside, I don't think a lump of coal is bad enough as far as "naughty list" gifts go (yes, I know Thoren doesn't keep a naughty list, but I think The Page of Darkness would be a notable exception). Lucifer would probably just set it on fire or something anyways. It needs to be something that would truly get on his nerves. maybe some really shitty hair gel? maybe an ink pen that explodes upon opening or something?
As for what I'd want, I'm not sure. in my dreams, I get most of what I want, and in my waking hours, what I have access to is kept pretty highly tracked usually. Of course, I expect the big wish won't be fulfilled until the summer, so that's not really expected yet.
I hope you all have a hoppy frogmas and a merry redistro, and a good night of the delibirds, and whatever other holidays are observed over there.

January 2nd, 2023
The past week has been a blur. Thank you by the way for that present, Santa. I'm not even sure how you got some of these photos, but it's nice to have pictures of so many familiar people and places when so far away from home.
Meanwhile, Lucifer managed to get a pair of horns for Christmas. Plastic temporic style horns. He's been wearing them pretty often. I think he might even be plotting something, but he's not willing to discuss that kind of business with me lately. Something about "the balance between infamy and obscurity" or some shit like that. He also got a suit that changes colors with his mood. It makes dealing with his mood swings a lot more predictable, thankfully.
It took a bit longer for the last of the excess Christmas spirit to get used up, since pretty much everyone wound up falling asleep for a few days for some reason.
With a new year, who knows what awaits. Please be careful.

January 14th, 2023
There hasn't been much going on lately, at least of note. It's been mostly piss standard busywork , as if this was just a regular -ass company... almost. Time may be regulated in this building, but space can be weird as hell. I'm managing the trips well enough though.
As for Lucifer? He's been busy with building a minifig scale model of a baseball stadium out of legos for the past few weeks. With him preoccupied, there's been a much needed moment of calm around here. I've been occasionally undoing a few hard to detect parts of his build when he's not around to make him take longer, but I know the Penelope method won't work forever.
I miss you all so much. I hope these days in captivity are numbered.

January 29th, 2023

I fucking hate this. I've been processing invoices involving a transfer of funds to pay for some kid's collage tuition and... let's just say I almost turned even more pale than usual when I realized what the funds were and what the school was. I wish I wasn't forced to sign off on these kinds of atrocities. Who the hell even is "Crystal Bloodchild" in the first place? Why the fuck do they need to go to evil sorcerer's collage?? Also, why does Lucifer want to sponsor them anyways?! Is it just a matter of being evil for evil's sake, or is there an actual reason here?
What should I even do with myself...